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Fragments of the Conscience

Life is fragmented. It is a melting pot of chaos and almost never has any clarity. Today you dream of love, tomorrow it stares you in the eye and before you know it you find yourself getting a divorce from the person you swore was your forever. Life is bizarre. It barely means anything. And you'll be kidding yourself if you think someday you'll find "the one" who's gonna make you happy. Happiness? It's a construct. Happiness doesn't exist. What exists is a mixture of hormones inside you that rises and falls with every breath you take. Friendships, careers, even hobbies are nothing but masks! Masks which hide the most basic needs of a human. Sweet and sour and filthy and selfish desires. Doesn't sound nice right? Doesn't follow the laws of the society. Doesn't quite fit in with the movie plots that we so often praise. Well guess what, Life is a game. A codeword that you cannot possibly hope to decipher in one lifetime. You thought you knew everything, right? Well my friend, that does not even begin to resemble the truth. 


What I want today more than ever is to finally perfect the art of equanimity, to possess the ability to see things for what they are in a matter-of-fact way without getting consumed by all the emotional baggage. This yearning is so intense, almost urgent. I hope I have enough strength in me to see this life till the end.


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